Monday, February 11, 2013

Quarter Life Crisis

I’ve been going through what I call my quarter life crisis for a while now.

I am 25 years old. A ‘real’ adult. Its weird how many times I have had to tell myself that. Its funny when you are young and you think of 18 as an adult, and then when you are teenager you think of maybe 20 as being an adult then by 20, I though once I finished college. Now, low and behold, there is nothing preventing me from being an adult.

I just do not feel remotely as accomplished as I feel I should be.

Regarding work: I like my job, but I do not LOVE my job. I was really enjoying combining my two jobs, working at MGH in research and NWH doing clinical work. I actually just resigned from NWH because MGH offered me full time hours and from a financial stand point, it makes more sense. I am getting to cover an outpatient clinic once a week at MGH so at least I get that variety.  I do not really feel like I am helping people as much as I want to. I do not feel as necessary. I am still a big advocate of health, nutrition and preventative care, but unfortunately the majority of our society is not.

When storm Nemo just hit and I had to work at the hospital so many people said, “But why? You are not an essential employee. You are not a doctor or a nurse.” Ok, obviously the doctors and the nurses are important, but dietitians play their role too, and in the case of an emergency I am sure I could help out wherever needed.
This was the ocean near my house during winter storm Nemo. 

And my house... 

and the road! 

            Personally, I am married to a pretty awesome guy, so that’s good. I do not know if we will ever have kids, but right now I still feel “too young” and from the financial side we definitely couldn’t hack it right now. We are happy with are furry and feathered babies. We almost got a new puppy recently, but at the last minute Jordan’s mother requested that we did not, and since she is technically our landlord, we had to listen.

Speaking of which, on the home front we had previously talked about moving to California, but now since I have a steady job and Jordan is doing pretty well with his work we haven’t discussed it recently. We have been living in the cottage next to his parent’s house to safe money. It is in Gloucester, which is gorgeous, but it is far from a lot of things. It is also a bit hard to be semi- living with his parents (though it does work out well for pet care.)

            I think part of the problem is I am so used to being so busy with school and work to only have work now seems weird. For the past year I had planning a wedding as a “hobby” but now that that is over I need something new. I have just been depressed and uninterested in doing anything. I have been watching a lot of television.

            I made a “bucket list” a long time ago but it needs revising. I have been pinteresting away about things I want to accomplish. A lot of what people have on their lists are to go certain places, but I do not know if I really want to make my life about traveling to places that other people say are special. I am sure the Taj Mahal is amazing, but I do not know if visiting it will make my life have more purpose. I would rather spend my time and money on things that will make my life more valuable to myself and others. (I do really want to go to India though.)

            Anyway, I am going to attempt to get out of this funk. We are taking our belated honeymoon to Mexico next week! So at least that will be something different. I haven’t been on a real vacation in a while. Maybe it will change my perception on travel too.

Here are some of my bucket list-a lot of them are rather vague but I guess that is part of the beauty of figuring out life :)  what is on yours?