Quarter Life Crisis

I’ve been going through what I call my quarter life crisis for a while now.

I am 25 years old. A ‘real’ adult. Its weird how many times I have had to tell myself that. Its funny when you are young and you think of 18 as an adult, and then when you are teenager you think of maybe 20 as being an adult then by 20, I though once I finished college. Now, low and behold, there is nothing preventing me from being an adult.

I just do not feel remotely as accomplished as I feel I should be.

Regarding work: I like my job, but I do not LOVE my job. I was really enjoying combining my two jobs, working at MGH in research and NWH doing clinical work. I actually just resigned from NWH because MGH offered me full time hours and from a financial stand point, it makes more sense. I am getting to cover an outpatient clinic once a week at MGH so at least I get that variety.  I do not really feel like I am helping people as much as I want to. I do not feel as necessary. I am still a big advocate of health, nutrition and preventative care, but unfortunately the majority of our society is not.

When storm Nemo just hit and I had to work at the hospital so many people said, “But why? You are not an essential employee. You are not a doctor or a nurse.” Ok, obviously the doctors and the nurses are important, but dietitians play their role too, and in the case of an emergency I am sure I could help out wherever needed.

This was the ocean near my house during winter storm Nemo. 

And my house... 

and the road! 

            Personally, I am married to a pretty awesome guy, so that’s good. I do not know if we will ever have kids, but right now I still feel “too young” and from the financial side we definitely couldn’t hack it right now. We are happy with are furry and feathered babies. We almost got a new puppy recently, but at the last minute Jordan’s mother requested that we did not, and since she is technically our landlord, we had to listen.

           

Speaking of which, on the home front we had previously talked about moving to California, but now since I have a steady job and Jordan is doing pretty well with his work we haven’t discussed it recently. We have been living in the cottage next to his parent’s house to safe money. It is in Gloucester, which is gorgeous, but it is far from a lot of things. It is also a bit hard to be semi- living with his parents (though it does work out well for pet care.)

            I think part of the problem is I am so used to being so busy with school and work to only have work now seems weird. For the past year I had planning a wedding as a “hobby” but now that that is over I need something new. I have just been depressed and uninterested in doing anything. I have been watching a lot of television.

            I made a “bucket list” a long time ago but it needs revising. I have been pinteresting away about things I want to accomplish. A lot of what people have on their lists are to go certain places, but I do not know if I really want to make my life about traveling to places that other people say are special. I am sure the Taj Mahal is amazing, but I do not know if visiting it will make my life have more purpose. I would rather spend my time and money on things that will make my life more valuable to myself and others. (I do really want to go to India though.)

            Anyway, I am going to attempt to get out of this funk. We are taking our belated honeymoon to Mexico next week! So at least that will be something different. I haven’t been on a real vacation in a while. Maybe it will change my perception on travel too.

Here are some of my bucket list-a lot of them are rather vague but I guess that is part of the beauty of figuring out life :)  what is on yours?

New Years “resolutions”

I admit – I started writing this post before new years and somehow never finished.

I realize the last time I blogged about “New Years” was the start of 2010! Reading it, I am really happy I wrote that post. It was a great summary of a year as well as my goals for the coming year. Looking back at my post nearest to New Years this year, I realize I was really depressed and remember not wanting to blog because everything I started to write came out negative and whiny. But I think either way it is important to regroup, recap and reinvest myself in life and thinking about what I want.

A look back at 2012

Work Stuff:

• Started working at Newton Wellesley as a Clinical Inpatient Dietitian
• Did Maternity leave at Massachusetts General Hospital as a Research Dietitian.
• Got offered and accepted a permanent job at MGH as a Research dietitian.
• Got my very own NIH research protocols! (Up to 9 now!)

Personal Stuff:

• I was a Bridesmaid in my good friend Melissa’s wedding (the first wedding I have been in since I was a flower girl around age 5!) 

• Melissa got pregnant- making her my first friend close friend MY age to becoming a mom! (I have lots of friends with kids, but they all seem older and it still seemed out of the realm of possibility even though I guess I am getting to be a real live adult now.)

• Got married myself to one of my best friends.

• Got a new name!
• Maintained my optimism for the most part.
• Made it through most major holidays without my typical self destructive melt downs.
• Despite being a lot further away from most of my friends – I think I managed to maintain a lot of good friendships- though there is always room for improvement and love seeing everyone!

Physical:

• Tried hot yoga (and hated it!)
• Tried crossfit (and loved it!)
• Ran my first 5K (Zombie Run for Our Lives) 
• Did the 10,000 push up challenge (100 push ups every day for 100 days before the wedding.)
• Did lots of other yoga
• Started working out with my hubby :) 

Looking back on my 2010 “resolutions”

· Learn how to accept a compliment – I have definitely gotten better at this.

· Work on being healthy, mentally and physically. – Still working on it. While I may have more adipose tissue, and I am not sure about my cholesterol etc, I would say I definitely feel better, and I am treating myself a lot better than I used to.

· Live in the moment, but make decisions that I will be comfortable with and proud of looking back.  – So far so good. If anything I may have found I do better when I plan a bit more!

· Continue to work on financial stability, while paying off undergrad loans.  -  I still feel like I have no money- but I did successfully graduate grad school with no debt, and I only have <$1000 left on my undergrad loans. I do now have a car payment, however, but little by little, chipping away!

· Prioritize. And make sure I am living accordingly. – An ongoing battle!

Goals for 2013:

·         Be happy

·         Be healthy (physically and mentally)

·         Be financially responsible

o       Finish paying off my school loans  

o       Pay off at least 1/3 of my car loan

o       Continue saving for the future/ an emergency

·         Keep learning

o       Listen to NPR or the news at least every work day.

·         Try new things (maybe do 1 new thing a month?? Hmm I will have to think more about this!)

I have taken so many counseling classes that I know my goals should be specific and manageable, but for now, I am going to leave it at that!

What are your thoughts on resolutions and the New Year? 

Ghreylin’s 3rd Adoption Day!

3 years ago today, a very important member person (bird) joined our family. 

You can see his introduction post here…This blog has been around as long as Ghreylin (Weird!)
 He has made several appearances throughout his time including at Christmas and New Years.  I adopted him from the Animal Rescue League of Boston and have not regretted the decision! I am happy to report, Mr Ghreylin has found his forever home.

Ironically Jordan and I had just started dating a couple months before, we were not even "official" when I told him I was getting a bird. He said "Ugh, don't get a bird, I will never come over!" - 3 years later, and here we are, one big happy family! Jordan living with Ghreylin, and Ghreylin has even switched over to Ghreylin Garry (It has a nice ring to it I think). 

He still remains to be ‘hand trained,’ I have given up on that and accepted him to be more like a cat. He walks around the house, has his favorite spots, gets mad at you when you try to pet him, but they when he wants to be patted he comes over and rubs against your hand (or foot) until he gets what he wants.

He gets a long very well with his "brother" Leo. They enjoy hanging out together, and Ghreylin often gets brazen and tries to preen Leo as well, which does not go over terribly well. Ghrey has a tendency to be braver than he should, whenever other dogs are present he just walks up to them and hisses like he is super scary standing tall at maybe 12 inches (including his tail) and 2.9 ounces. 

He only flies when he is scared or for lack of other options. Usually when he flies up high on to something he does not know how to get down and squawks until someone helps him down. He does enjoy walking and climbing.

Ghreylin’s favorite activities include: preening his feathers, taking showers or spray baths, chewing on things such as cardboard tubes, fabric, paper, walls and everything he should not chew. He has a strong affinity for fuzzy objects and hanging fabric, namely my bathrobe, a fuzzy green pillow, and a certain towel in the bathroom. Laundry folding gets him very excited. And he still loves surfing the web! (I think he just knows that is where the music comes from and likes when the computer gets warm.) 

Despite my efforts to get him to switch over to the fancy organic bird pellets the vet recommended, he still insists on only eating seeds and the rare table food, namely pasta, popcorn and oatmeal (my birdy loves his carbs!) 

I was discussing my baby with one of the interns and she said how whenever I said his name she kept thinking of the mice on ghrelin! Ha! Thankfully Ghreylin seems to have a good Leptin to ghrelin ratio (assuming that is how birds stomachs work too?) 

Wedding Photobooth

One of my only wedding requirements was that I wanted a photobooth, because nothing says a fun, happy wedding like funny hat and a fake mustache.

I had debated for a long time, perusing Pinterest for a food guest book idea. I liked the fingerprint tree or balloon ideas, but at the same time it did seem like the best way to remember the people who came since to be honest, I probably wouldn’t be able to identify people by their finger prints!

I also considered doing the writing on a Jenga set because I was trying to have all of the fun lawn games etc. (Which despite having a giant Jenga and other various lawn games, no one played any of them at the wedding).

I also liked the idea of using a calendar and having people sign on their birthday so then I would have documentation of everyone's birthday I was supposed to remember.

The traditional guest book was considered, but dismissed. People are already writing cards, No need to make them re-write the same sentiments and then (if they are like me) sign their name in an illegible manner so I have no idea who the note is from anyway.

My mother-in-law was VERY upset I was not doing a traditional guest book. She was like, but how are you going to get everyones addresses and phone numbers!? Of the weddings I have been to I have NEVER written my address/ phone number or any other contact information in the guestbook. If I was supposed to, I am sorry, I failed and was completely ignorant to this practice. Furthermore, if I had wanted to collect this data it would have been a lot more useful BEFORE the wedding and before I sent out invitations to everyone at their addresses. Also, to everyone that keeps telling me how great it will be to get everyones addresses for the invitations nce this will be used for the “Holiday Card list” – I do not send out holiday cards. Maybe I would send out an Ecard- but christmas cards are really just a waste of paper in my opinion. Cards in general are a nice thought, but really I read them, maybe leave them up for a week because I feel obligated, and then recycle them. Save your 41 cents. Just send me an email.

In the end, I decided a picture says a thousand words and to just use the photobooth as a "Guestbook" 

In order to encourage everyone to get their pictures taken I made a note in the wedding programs to make sure they visited the booth. 

Photobooth:
I looked in to renting a photobooth, especially when there were groupon type of deals for some of them, nonetheless, they were at least $1000 to rent. Considering the fat that Jordan is a ‘photographer/ videographer’ with lots of camera equipment and has various coworkers I figured we could harass for a favor – I decided we could make it work on our own.
I put myself in charge of acquiring the props. I looked online at Etsy which had quite the selection, but the cost was a bit much.

Again, thank goodness for Pinterest and google! Check out my "wedding: photobooth" pinterest page for specifics! 

I found a bunch of free templates to use, some of the best being from Oh Happy Day blog and Get Creative Juice blog  

 I am very sorry but I do not know where I  got these from! If anyone recognizes them please let me know so I can give them credit... 

My supply list included:

• Black foam core board from craft store (This was more expensive than I thought it would be ~$6 I discovered after the fact that Dollar Tree sells foam core for $1 for a smaller sheet, but only comes in white so it would have stuck out more.)

• Hot glue gun and glue (I already had the gun, so I just picked up some sticks for ~$1 at Walmart --I KNOW I shouldn't support Walmart, but that is another story entirely.)

• 12” wooden dowels (also from Walmart about $1/ pack of 10, I bought 3 packs).

• Printer

• Sticky felt (My sisters company moved offices and was going to throw away a ton of craft supplies, she rescued it and gave it to some of her teacher friends and myself.)

To put them together: 
1. Print out your props on a printer. 
2. If the print was already colored (Like the Oh Happy Day ones) just glue them right on to the foam board. If not, you can cut out colored paper or in my case stick felt into the shape and then glue onto the foam board with a spray adhesive. 
3. Using an exacto-knife on a cutting board, trace the shape to cut through the foam board. 
4. Using a glue gun, attach the wooden dowel to the side of the prop and wait until it dries. 

I printed out a photobooth sign and framed it in a dollar store frame. 

I rounded out my props I made with random things I had around the house from old halloween and dance constumes such as Bunny Ears, Giant glasses and a biker hat. 

For the booth itself we just used a black back drop and a bench in our garage and some of our photographers (we had Jordan's Uncle and a few of his friends doing out photography) use their cameras and lighting equipment. 

Everyone seemed to have a fun time and the pictures came out great for the most part! 

Some people found their own props to use as well 

 And some people did not even use props! 

There is my very handsome daddy and his girlfriend Valerie 

Even Jordan's 80 year old great aunt and uncle joined in! 

FitBit Review

I mentioned ordering the Fitbit one activity and sleep tracker. I originally ordered it from Amazon, but the release date got pushed back by a month, whereas it was already released by BestBuy so I canceled my Amazon order and bought it throught Best Buy. I was a bit disappointed in my usual go to Amazon (That on top of charging sales tax now!- It’s ok Amazon… I understand.)

Thus far- I love the fitbit! 

• (+) It is very accurate at counting steps. I have counted my steps and it is almost on the dot every time.
• (-) It, however, does not count if you walk in place or side to side sometimes as I try to do to burn a couple extra calories in small spaces without looking like a total weirdo.
• (+) It DOES count if you jog in place.
• (-) It sometimes counts “steps” while driving. I read this is other reviews and checked it out. For the most part I do highway driving, which so far has never been a problem/ it does not count any steps, but the other day I was on back roads and it was counting up a storm! Adding a “drive” function would be great. It seems slightly less accurate after is gets a little wet. I wore it to a hot yoga class, which shockingly, I sweat a lot at, on the drive home was when it was going haywire counting like a fiend.
• (+) Along with just steps it also counts distance! Some people have found this inaccurate- but I find it to be pretty on point.
• (-) however, once I put in my stride length it then started to overestimate, so I think going with the default works better since the stride you walk at when walking may be different than what you do just puttering around the house etc.
• (+) Flights of stairs! I work on the 13^th floor and this is great motivation to take the stairs.
• (-) I have no idea how many steps count as a flight… usually a “flight” is 10 stairs but my work has the double flights and I still only get 13.
• (-) It does not seem to count other stepping activities. I was at 49 flights one day and really wanted to get to the 50 flights but since I live in a house with zero stairs, I tried to do step ups on my ottoman, and despite stepping up 100 times, I did not get my final flight! It does count as a flight if you go up an incline, like hiking up hills etc.
• (-) It does not count other activities other than walking/ running. So, my 90 minutes of hot yoga or weight lifting etc counts as being inactive.
• (+) you can add these activities in after the fact on the website.

• (+) The sleep tracker is pretty cool, though I am not sure how to judge how accurate it is. You have to wear the fitbit in the wrist band for it to work at night since your arms apparently are what moves the most when sleeping.
• (+) I like the general idea that it makes sleep an important aspect of fitness/ health, which it is! 
• (+) I like seeing my “sleep efficiency” by how much I was “awake” at night. It seems relatively accurate based on how much I feel I was awake at night versus what it tells me I was up.
• (-) You are supposed to start a timer when you go to sleep and stop it when you wake up but I think I screw this up every time, and you still have to input it into the computer every time too so I do not really understand the point of this.

• (+) Overall style and size, its tiny! Which I guess is good so it doesn’t take up much space or look awkward.
• 
  





• (-) Everyone hates on the clip, so to be safe I bought a $1 pedometer clip to ensure it doesn’t get lost.
• (-) that being said, I did not wear the pedometer clip to bed and it feel out of the wrist band a few times.
• (+) vibrating alarm clock is a nice little feature.  
• (+) Battery life – in a world where my cell phone dies every 2 hours, I am utterly amazed that this thing only needs to be charged once a week for 2 hours. I think I have only charged it once since the initial charging and that was just because I was sitting at the computer for a long time.
• (+) Ease of use- there is only one button on it! You just click to cycle through to get the various numbers of steps, miles flights etc.
• (+) Bluetooth sync makes it super easy to sync without having to plug it in anywhere. I do not have a iphone to sync it with but I am ok with that.
• (+) built in clock and displays date and time. It helps justify the cost by saying I do not have to buy a watch too!
•  (+/-) at $100, it is pretty pricey, but considering how accurate and functional it is, I think it is justified. I also had a gift card and a coupon code I found online so that helped.
• (+) Easy to use website/ dashboard. Self explanatory.

• (+) Great motivation and a way to keep track. I love the “badges” you get for how many steps you take and floors climbed etc.

• (+) It has a pretty comprehensive nutrition data base to track your intake.. .I tried it for a day or two but not that motivated.  

Fitness Survey

I saw this fitness survey on so many people’s blogs, (most recently Amy's) so I decided to go ahead and do it. It made me realize I am a bit of a fitness minimalist. I do enjoy using equipment but frankly I do not have than much so if it is not around I make do!

Five Fitness Things I can’t Live Without:

• A wall: I love utilizing the wall for working out and stretching. Wallsits, handstand push ups

• Yoga mat: The rug is slippery yo!

• My dog: Leo is a pain in the butt when it comes to trying to do yoga- but he really keeps me going on a run.

• Sneakers: no shoes are great for yoga, but sneakers definitely help for running/ and other workouts.

• Deodorant: I don't know if this is too obvious, but I prefer to not be too smelly.  


Most Embarrassing Song I Listen to While Working Out:

I am not really embarrassed by anything I listen to. You can friend me on Pandora and check out my “Don’t let them see you sweat” mix including Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Pitbull, Katy Perry, Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna, etc.

I will admit I like me some angry Eminem while I workout sometimes.

Favorite Pre-Workout Snack or Meal:

Smoothies or banana or apple with peanut butter: If I am at home I usually do a smoothie, but if I workout after work I usually go for the apple or banana with peanut butter if I have it.

On My Fitness Bucket List:

I used to want to run a marathon, but really I have no desire to. My current goal is to become a group exercise instructor so I can help motivate other people and stay in shape myself!

Overall my goal is to keep pushing myself and making my body do more and keep fitness fun.

Must-Have Tech Tools:

My laptop or ipad: I often require some form of external motivation, often in the form of yogadownloads.com, bodyrock or a random pinterest or blogger workout.
ex:

MP3 player? I have a Sansa clip, which I recently accidentally deleted all of the music off of. I have now commadered an Ipod  Jordan acquired from a shoplifter who dropped it whilst he broke into Tropical Foods, attempted to shoplift and then spit in his eye when he was caught...   we recently received a court ordered apology from the individual. But anyway, I still have his Ipod as he has not come back to the store to claim it.
I actually haven’t been listening to music lately when I run since I am usually doing it at night so I get scared, plus I like to be able to hear the traffic coming. Since I am usually running near the ocean I have decent background noise.

shop lifters Ipod

My phone/ Mapmyrun app: I love tracking my mileage and I have no sense of direction so I admittedly sometimes get lost—I would have been in big trouble if I didn’t have this on a recent hike!

Fitbit?? I actually do not even have this yet! But I am soo excited for it. It claims to be arriving at my house between 10/31-11/3.

Top Exercise Gear:
Spandex/ polyester pants/ leggings: wicks away sweat and no chaffing (TMI?) I have no real brand loyalty but I have a new-ish pair of MPG (Mondetta Performance Gear) that I really like.

Sports Bra: If for nothing else, I use it to hold my chapstick when lacking a pocket. I think most of mine are the Champion ones from Target.

Motivational Mantras:
I sometimes go on Pinterest to pump myself up before a workout!  Some of my favorite inspirations include:

Favorite Cardio Exercise:

Intervals—I love combining cardio and strength and just making it fast to get my heart going.

Running – I go through phases of hating and loving running. The phases shift suddenly so today I like it, I cannot guarantee for tomorrow.

Zumba! I haven’t done it in a while, but I love getting my groove on.

Favorite Strength Move:

Almost anything body weight. Squats, pushups, sit ups, planks, handstands/ headstands. Walking lunges used to be my all time favorite, but since having foot surgery I can no longer bend my toes so this is a lot harder!
So that is my fitness survey! What's yours?

New favorite kitchen tool

Lets be honest, one of the best parts of getting married is getting to register for all of those random gadgets you have always lusted over but never had an excuse to buy for yourself. 
It turns out some of the best items are not even the super expensive ones. 

Back in the day, I worked at a Starbucks, where my coffee obsession reached new heights as I delved into deeper knowledge and appreciation for lattes, cappuccinos, and macchiatos.   I had never truly known the value of steamed/ whipped milk until then. 

I actually went out and purchased a fancy-schmancy espresso maker/ milk steamer so I could make delicious coffee drinks at home. Turns out those machines take a lot of effort to clean and work. That machine currently resides in my fathers basement (along with a juicer I bought that also takes way too much effort to clean). 

My mother-in-law Alina owns a cute little frother that makes a delicious "cafe con leche"  - so I added a frother to my registry. Thats to Elizabeth (of Don't White Sugar Coat it) I am now the  proud owner of a hand held frother! via Amazon.com 

The Areolatte froths so well! In general, whole milk/ higher fat milk froths better than nonfat / lower fat milk. But the areolatte has been quite good at frothing my soy and almond milk. That paired with a spoonful of pumpkin puree and coffee- topped with cinnamon! Yum!! 

Check out that delicious froth! 

What is your favorite / most used kitchen appliance?